My "incoming" mail slot is almost full ... again. I don't deal with the mail addressed to me. Why? I'm not sure, probably because I'll have to make decisions ... decisions that I can't make.
No, it's not really that I CAN'T make the decisions, it's that the decisions (the options) cause me distress (anxiety).
First of all, what is this item? Even if it's junk mail of some sort, the anxiety begins ... maybe I will NEED this information / service / address / date in the future. What if I need it and I don't have this (paper) any more? Maybe someone I know will ask me about this (or need this). Or maybe I already know someone I can give this to.
If it's an upcoming event, a different set of anxious questions begin.
If I don't "deal" with the mail, I don't experience the anxiety. However, I have experienced discomfort when a friend of mine asked if I had read the letter she sent me. I was embarrassed to say that I didn't even know she had sent me one.
I have bags (and BAGS) of my mail in various places in my house. As the place I keep my mail fills up, I will bag it, write the date on it and put it ... somewhere.
I also have THOUSANDS of e-mails in my inbox. Many of them I have not even opened. Hmmmm ... I hadn't seen the correlation between these two "collections" until now.
I hope that by admitting this about myself (and let me tell you, it's not an easy thing to disclose), I will be on the road to change and healing in these areas.
Very brave of you, my friend. We all have our issues to work on, so know that you're not alone!
ReplyDelete