the show HOARDERS

I watched two episodes of "Hoarders" from A&E on my computer last night. These are the first ones I have seen. My immediate response was "ewwww!" I think that these circumstances are what most people think of when they hear the word hoarder. My home is not in this condition. I don't say that with any pride or haughtiness, just want to clarify that hoarders come in all degrees.

I can relate to some of the emotions expressed:

• concern that the work crew CHECK to make sure that boxes are truly empty
• concern that workers are CAREFUL when handling items (that may be fragile)
• concern that an item is USEFUL or VALUABLE , yet needs to be removed (because you are NOT using it)
• concern that others understand HOW DIFFICULT this process is for you
• gratitude for the help (though at times there may be a breakdown)

Seeing it through the eyes of the family members who live with a hoarder, I felt great sorrow for them. They DO deserve to live in a home free from the clutter. They DO have a right to give an ultimatum. In doing so, they are not selfish, they ARE genuinely concerned about the health and well being of the hoarder and want them to get the help they need.

update

I've been placing items into the back of my van as I fill the "DONATIONS" box. As I pass a Goodwill, I drop off the donations.

One of my neighbors asked me if we were moving. She said she noticed stuff in the back of my van a couple of days in a row. I told her no, we're just moving out STUFF.

I joined a wonderful support group on-line. It's encouraging to read posts from others who are working through the same issues as I am.

Decluttering Is Not Just For Stuff

One of the things that is helping me be able to "release" stuff, is to declutter my mind.

I do this in two ways. One is to "clear my mind" by sitting down either at the computer or with a piece of paper and just make a list of everything on my mind. Once I start thinking, the thoughts start to really flow and eventually they will taper off and I stop. It may be something I need to do or a concern I want to pray about or even something I want to remember to tell someone. The important thing is to just download it all onto paper.

I leave a slight margin on the left edge of the paper so that I can go back and code each item listed. "TD" is for things I need to do. "P" is for things I need to pray about. "C" is for what I want to consider (think more about), and so forth.

The other way I declutter my mind is to do mind mapping. I'm not sure if this is the correct name for what I do, but it's what I call it. It goes like this:
A. write down the instance/circumstance
B. write down your thoughts (about the instance/circumstance) one at a time
C. write down your emotions (about the instance/circumstance) one at a time
Then I look to see if I can spot a thinking error (in my thoughts)
For instance: am I thinking that someone or something is ALWAYS _____ (whatever)?
Well, that's a thinking error. No person or circumstance is ALWAYS _____ .
When I see that and change my thought (the way I think about it) to "sometimes" he or it _____ then my emotion immediately changes too.

This is VERY effective to change my mood/attitude/disposition.

Do I do it everyday? No.

When I do it, I'm ALWAYS glad I did (ha ha, got you!)

Thinking About The Focus

This is not an original idea. I heard about it from someone else. I don't remember the man's name or I would give him the proper credit (he is a professional organizer and I think he shared this on the Oprah show) ... anyway, the tip is to evaluate each room of your house.

Ask yourself the following questions:
What is the function of this room (currently) ?
Who uses this room?
What do you WANT the function of this room to be?
What will have to be removed to meet this function?

I asked my husband and daughter these questions about our living room and dining room. Their answers weren't very surprising. I hope having a focus will help me to clear the "extra" things out (the clutter).

Friday, October 2, 2009

Tonight I purged my Tupperware/food storage containers. Threw away lids without bottoms, and placed pieces that we don't use in my DONATIONS box.

I gathered up paper goods: paper, plastic and styrofoam plates, cups, bowls and plasticware. I discovered that we have an over abundance of plastic knives and I don't need to buy any cups for picnics or parties for awhile either. I put these into white Banker's Boxes. The boxes are a temporary home for them until I decide where they will permanently stay.

I also ventured into my closet and came out with two paper bags full of clothes, some purses a pair of shoes and some hangers that I will DONATE.

These were easy purges. Obviously I am not emotionally tied to these things. When I get around to my books ... I know it will be a different story.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

The best part of today was being able to declare that two more places in our home are now "clutter free zones!" One of them is the kitchen counters (yowzah!) and the other is the laundry room (woo -- ee!)

These will not be easy areas to maintain because we all have the habit of leaving things in or on them. I anticipate having to police these spots for an extended period of time, but that's alright by me : ) I'm still joyous!

The funniest thing that happened today was when I was boxing up some things. I had cleared off the top of our incoming mail slots area and placed everything into a Banker's Box (labeled on the outside with the date that I put it in the box). Since the box was not full, I decided that I would add the bag that was hanging on my pantry doorknob.

This particular bag had been hanging on the doorknob for over a year (maybe closer to two ?!!)
It contained things that were left in our vehicle one time when I cleaned it out. This was a bag of
things that were not trash. I suppose that when I hung it up I told my family what the bag was and that they should look in it to see if any of their items were inside .... before I threw it away.
I may have said there was a deadline ... I probably did. I'm sure I intended to.

Anyway, this bag has been on that doorknob all this time. It has haunted ME (just me) because I'm the one who knows what it is. It may have been inconvenient to the rest of my family. But then again, they probably got to a place where they no longer even noticed it. I always knew it was there.

Today, I decided to free myself from the torturous feelings and put the bag into a box. First I had to unwind the bag (it had twisted round and round and tighter and tighter so that it couldn't be taken off). After it was unwound all the way and I lifted it off the knob, the contents fell to the floor (the old plastic grocery bag had ripped).

I could NOT believe what was inside: a knitted beanie, one glove, a felt tipped pen, one feminine hygene product, a very outdated Truck Trader magazine and some old flyers. All this time I assumed that whatever was in the bag, I would have to find a place for or make some gut wrenching decision about ...

The magazine and flyers went into the garbage. I put the rest of the items away (in less than 5 minutes). The most tedious thing I had to do was cross out where I had listed this bag on the label I put on the outside of the Banker's Box.

Note to self: do not label a box until you actually put the item(s) inside of it.

One Woman's Hoard IS Another's Treasure

Once upon a time Princess House Crystal was all the rage with my circle of friends. I attened and even hosted some in-home parties in an effort to build my collection. There was one particular set that captured my heart ... the hand blown punch bowl set. The bowl was set on a pedestal base and included twelve matching glasses. How I longed to see it in my china hutch!



I don't remember the requirements to obtain this magnificent set, except that it was available to hostesses ONLY. It could not be purchased by just anyone who wanted to have it.



Eventaully I was triumphant in acquiring this crystal treasure! It was beautiful and I had the perfect place reserved for it. Not only did I delight in seeing it in my dining room, but guests would be transfixed on it's intrinsic value and offer adoring praise as well.



Since the punch bowl itself, was handblown crystal, it was very fragile. I brought it out and used it once but was so very anxious when I washed it after the party, that I did not care to use it again. In the china hutch it sat for many, many years.



That all changed on Monday. The magical hold that this inatimate object had on me was broken. I was ready to release it for someone else to enjoy. I posted a listing on Craig's List. Several inquirers responded immediately. One man was persistant. I am so happy that he is the one who bought this set.



He told me that his wife had seen the Craig's List ad last Thursday. She wanted the set as soon as she read about it. She asked her husband to respond. He didn't. They were going out of town and he didn't want to ask me to hold it for him. His wife could not get it out of her mind. She hoped he would contact me as soon as they crossed the Arizona border again. He didn't, but he had a plan. He had saved cash from their trip. He had the exact amount stashed away in his wallet. He contacted me first thing when he got to work on Monday in the hopes that I still had the set. I did. He wanted to surprise his wife. I wish I could've been a fly on the wall to see her face.



I am incredibly blessed by the work that the Lord is doing in me and in my heart.